Let Why Lead

Cleaning on a Schedule (or Not)

2012-02-27T05:00:00.004-08:00

Right after the honeymoon I started noticing the little piles Ryan was making around our home. A collection of gum, coins, and old receipts here; a stack of dirty socks there. It wasn't a big deal. We all do it, right?

Eventually I would ask him to clean a certain pile up, and he would answer with the biggest excuse I had ever heard: "I'll do it when my brain tells me to."

WHAT?? WHEN IS THAT GOING TO BE?? WHO SAYS THAT?? (Clearly, I was the sweetest newlywed ever.)

Strangely, his "brain" would tell him to do it eventually.

After I had Trenton and was staying home full time, I would read blog posts or Real Simple articles offering yearly/monthly/weekly cleaning schedules. Because I seemed to think domestic nirvana was my ultimate quest, I mapped out my own cleaning schedule and valiantly tried to keep with it. It was never long before I was off track, and discouragement inevitably followed.

Slowly I found my unwittingly wise husband's concept popping into my head more and more. I knew I *should* clean the bathrooms, but if I wasn't in the mood, I started trusting that my brain would tell me to do it eventually. Interestingly, it would! (Thankfully, my mess-tolerating threshold is fairly low, so tasks don't usually wait long.)

I've learned I am not the type to have one designated cleaning day a week. When I see Pinterest pins boasting that 15 minutes a day of cleaning can lead to a deep cleaned home all year long, I am happy for people that actually works for, but I no longer feel any pressure to be that way myself. It's not me.

I do continual maintenance around the house. Don't we all feel like the laundry, meal cleanup, and toy organization will never cease? But my deep cleaning comes in spurts. Without planning for it at all, I'll find myself at home for a whole afternoon with the boys, so I whip those bathrooms and the kitchen floor into shape while the boys relax with Curious George. It works for us.

Feel free to download this graphic as a 5x7 here.

Time to spill it, ladies. Do you clean on a schedule? If so, I want to hear about what life is like on the other side. :) If not, have you given yourself permission to just BE you? I hope so!

*Linked up with I Should be Mopping the Floor. How fitting!
*Welcome to any Dwell on Joy readers! I will be passing on the Liebster Award later this week to five new(ish) bloggers.

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Downloadable Golden Gate Bridge Photo - Two Ways

2012-02-24T00:02:00.002-08:00

Happy Friday, everyone!

A few of you asked about the Golden Gate Bridge photo in my small gallery wall toward the bottom of this post. To kick off the weekend, I thought I'd share it with you. Click here to download your own copy. Or feel free to email me for a copy, at letwhylead@gmail.com.

When I was initially editing the photo, I created two versions and chose the top one because it fit best in my wall arrangement. You can download the second version here.

I love living close to San Francisco. Buying a decent home (one of my greatest dreams) may be nearly impossible here, but at least we have gorgeous weather, fantastic food, and diverse entertainment to make up for it. I hope you're discovering what there is to love about the city you're in, wherever you are. Now get out and enjoy it this weekend!

And as always, THANK YOU for visiting Let Why Lead! You are wonderful.

Linked up with Serenity Now!

Things They Say

2012-02-22T22:23:00.004-08:00

Once you become a mother, you will hear certain statements on repeat, but from a different mother every time.

"I'm so glad she takes a pacifier."
"I feel like I never stop nursing."
"Did my kid just hit yours?"
"How will we ever get rid of that pacifier?"

And the one I'll touch on today—"I should write that down."

We moms think and say it all the time. During those blissful moments when Trenton curls up alongside my body while we lie on his bed signing songs before the lights go off or when little Chase looks up into my eyes to ask a sincere but one-worded question, I wish I could relive the moment again and again and never forget.

And let's not forget the obvious: Kids are hilarious. When Trenton eyes my upper body while we're reading stories and tells me, "I like your nice bumps," I laugh and feel like I could never forget that statement. But I know better. Trenton says things that make me laugh out loud daily, but not every day can I remember them even by the time Ryan comes home from work. And I'm shooting to remember them a lot longer than the length of one day.

I know it is nothing revolutionary, but about six months ago I created a Google Document called "Things They Say." I often keep it open in one of my browser's tabs, so that when someone says or does something memorable, I can dash over and add a bullet. Or at night, after they're tucked snug in their beds, I open it up and fill in anything I can remember from the last week or two.

(In case you've never used Google Docs, it looks basically like Word, but the files are stored online and can be accessed anywhere. You can also allow people to view or contribute to your documents.)

I keep one section for Trenton...

And one for Chase.

I don't show you these expecting you to read the text (although I won't mind if you do). I wanted to give you a visual of how simple this method is. It is nothing fancy. Just quick and convenient. Sometimes that is all you need.

Possibly my favorite thing about it is that I've invited my parents and in-laws to view the document any time they want. If you have a mother-in-law like mine who eats up anything your children say, she will adore you!

The sources of so much laughter (and a little angst!) around here!

I remember my sister jotting down her baby's new words as she said them on a calendar hanging in her kitchen. If she said "kitty" for the first time on Tuesday, "kitty" was added to Tuesday's little box. Do you have a method for preserving the things your children say?

What I Wore Wednesday

2012-02-22T06:32:00.002-08:00

It's been a month since my last "What I Wore Wednesday" post. I feel extremely vain taking these pictures and even more so posting them(!), but it actually is nice to have some motivation to think for more than two seconds about what clothes I put on. (However, ten seconds of thinking is about my limit most mornings!)

Off to a college basketball game with my boys.

Top and jeans: Anthropologie. I was excited to find those jeans on the sale rack the other day.
Yellow bag (unofficially my diaper bag, I suppose) goes with me everywhere.
Flats: Nine West

Valentine's Day attire.

Top: Nordstrom
Bottoms: Gap
Flats: same as above

Off to church.

Dress: Nordstrom
Shoes: Nine West

As you can tell, I don't accessorize much, though I wish I did. I throw on earrings if I'm lucky, and I pretend lipstick is an accessory. It makes any outfit pop.

My wardrobe philosophy is quality over quantity. My wardrobe is fairly small, but I shop sales and buy quality pieces that I will wear again and again. (And believe me, I do!) My sweet grandma taught me this.

For more (and probably better!) outfit ideas, hop over to the Pleated Poppy.

More Effective than Nagging?

2012-02-20T23:07:00.005-08:00

It has taken me foolishly long to learn that my gentle (read: prodding) reminders regarding some of my husband's habits have yielded few positive outcomes in our house. I found that pointing out five times in one Saturday that keys and stray business cards do not belong on the piano didn't make those items hop to their appropriate place. (Who me? A little OCD?)

Thankfully, I eventually discovered a secret that would.

Sarcasm.

Strange, no?

But with my husband, it works.

If he was not answering my simultaneous text, phone call, and email (wow, my OCD is really starting to shine), I could send a text saying, "What, are you too cool to take my calls?" And suddenly, my phone would be ringing a familiar tune.

If I was wiping down the kitchen table while he reclined on the couch with the newspaper, I could sing out "Cinderelly, Cinderelly," and he'd do anything to get me to stop—even pull out the vacuum to drown me out.

Humor points a finger at the situation but doesn't rub his nose in it. I wish that a little humor were my instinctive reaction, rather than the sideway quip I'm so keen on, but I am practicing. Slowly I plan to train my mind to call on this trick more often. (And hopefully allow him to keep his dignity in the process.)

In whatever close relationships you're in, have you found what your counterpart responds to best?

FYI, the post title is a joke. And I did check with my very supportive husband before posting this. :)

Wall Decor - It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful

2012-02-19T20:19:00.000-08:00

Today I'm linking up with the Nester and many other lovely ladies to show that it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. When she announced this link party, I immediately thought of my wall decor. I've been wanting to post it here, but I'm always tweaking and never satisfied that it's "just right." Too many ideas in this brain, not enough time or money!

Let's start with the two three-foot picture ledges above my sofa...

I bought all of the frames at the Aaron Brothers "buy one get one for a penny" sale, which I believe they have every year after Christmas and then again in July. I've had those two stars up there since Christmas. I like them and am not ready to put them away yet. Maybe when summer hits.

Every time a visitor looks at these photos, I wince inside, remembering that I need to have one reprinted, because the printer chopped off the top of Chase's head. One of these days I will get to it! Until then, it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. :)

In my dreams I have a new tufted linen sofa and sprawling rug to cover the mauve carpet, but in real life I have a couch that "the wild boys" (as my brother-in-law calls them) can play on and carpet that hides much more than it shows. For now, it's not such a bad tradeoff. I've made it bright and happy with the white and teal.

This wall is around the corner, in our entryway. I have ideas of what could be added, but for now, it's a small, cheerful gallery that reminds us of who we are. Our family motto and a photo of the Golden Gate Bridge occupy two West Elm frames. The large family photo is on canvas; winkflash occasionally does 60% off sales. The chalkboard is a semi-homemade gift I convinced Ryan to buy for my birthday. :)

Great framed chalkboards can be expensive, so I bought this frame (actually made of wood) without glass or backing at Cheap Pete's Frames, and I ordered an 18x24 chalkboard from amazon. It took two seconds to assemble and cost significantly less than my favorites on etsy. I'm excited to have a place to rotate meaningful quotes and scriptures.

As I've said before, seeing inspiring words and art day after day helps me become the woman I so want to become, and I deeply hope it will have the same subtle effect on my children as they grow. Besides, even if our walls are smudged with little handprints and the couch serves more as a jungle gym than a resting place, at least the wall decor stays out of the tornados' path! (I say plural "tornados because I have at least two tornados in this house, sometimes more, if you count the adults!)

As always, thanks for reading Let Why Lead. I love to write just for the sake of writing, but it's definitely more fun when you know people are reading!

Heart of Gold

2012-02-17T13:49:00.000-08:00

After this post about the terrible threes, I feel like it wouldn't be fair to my big-hearted eldest to neglect mentioning that he seems to have snapped out of it. He can be so strong willed, but thankfully, it is balanced by a desire to please and an ability to reason that usually wins out—eventually! (And knock on wood, his difficult spells usually do not last very long!)

He worked so hard writing his name on his Valentines. But do know how much patience it takes a three-year-old to write T-R-E-N-T-O-N ten times? Eventually he just wrote Ts and I filled in the rest. :) Love that cheesy smile.

My youngest is going through a phase where he acts afraid of everything. (I don't think he IS afraid; he just likes the attention!) He was crying on the floor the other night while I tried to vacuum. Trenton knelt by him, wrapped him in his arms or stroked his face, and repeated "It's okay, Chasey" and "I love you so much" for ten straight minutes while I vacuumed!

Under the obstinance is a heart of gold!

Living Intentionally

2012-02-16T09:01:00.000-08:00

I put this together and stuck it in a frame to hang in our entryway. I would call it our family motto, except that seems so definitive, and I'm sure our motto will evolve with time. What we've felt inspired to emphasize so far in our family is the idea of being aware of the WHYs, as well the idea of living intentionally. And of course, it all has to start right here with me, which is why I have this blog—to keep me on track!

This is probably not the last time you'll see this quote, as I am never quite satisfied with the design and am always itching to try something new with it. But for now, I thought I'd share. It's full res, so you're welcome to save the image and print as an 8x10.

Do you have a family motto? I'm sure we could all use some ideas!

The Old Me

2012-02-14T10:50:00.000-08:00

With Valentine's on my mind I pulled out this little black book this morning:

It is a small collection of photos that Ryan gave me when we were dating and I was about to leave to Africa for a month. Every single night, sitting on my top bunk in a bare-bones backpackers lodge in Zambia, I flipped through this book and wondered if I would spend my life with this man who was thoughtful enough to see that a pink bow was tied around that little black book.

Now, I look at the girl in that picture (seven years ago this summer) and marvel at how ridiculously carefree I was during those euphoric months of falling head over heels in love.

I was FUN then. Carefree seems to bring out the best in me. :) Am I FUN now? I want my husband to still feel he's married to the same woman...as often as I can summon her, that is. This Valentine's, I resolve to summon that Erica a little more often. To be a bit more spontaneous (and maybe a little less glued to naps) and much more willing to give a back rub every now and then. And maybe I should bring a little hot pink back into my wardrobe...

Do you have anything from the early days of your relationship that reminds you of that version of yourself? Today is a great day to pull it out. Happy Valentine's!

Make It Simple (4) - Refrigerator Organization

2012-02-13T15:14:00.000-08:00

I laugh writing this post because a week ago, when I snapped this picture, I had obviously just grocery shopped. (A full fridge makes me so happy!) Today, a week later, our fridge is empty and my kids so eager for some decent food that while at a friend's house this morning (we stopped there en route to Trader Joe's—I promise I do feed my kids!), Trenton said, "Maybe they have some food!" and ran off to ask. They acted like the goldfish my friend gave them was mana straight from heaven.

Incidentally, they love food so much that they act like that practically anytime someone feeds them, but it sure made me look like I'd been withholding food, especially since I had just been joking with my girlfriends about how empty my fridge was. :)

But moving on to the actual organization—

A couple of months ago I bought two deep fridge bins from Crate & Barrel with the plan of moving my fresh fruits and vegetables out of their depressing spot at the bottom of the fridge. Even if produce drawers are intended to keep produce fresh, they also ensure that produce stays out of sight. And if you're like me, you might just forget to feed them to your family unless they're staring you in the face every time you open the fridge.

So I moved produce up, as pictured, and I assigned dairy products (mainly cheese & eggs) to the lower right drawer and meat / poultry products (lunchmeat, bacon, marinating chicken breasts, etc.) to the lower left drawer.

Free space is occupied by rotating items like leftovers or casseroles (which I actually rarely make).

Then at the end of the week, it looks more like this:

The only good thing about an empty fridge is that is is easy to wipe down before filling up again!

Is your refrigerator organization working for you? (I wish I could see into yours!)

And now the boys and I are off to the grocery store so that they will start liking me again!

My Kitchen

2012-02-10T07:56:00.000-08:00

Let the home tour begin!

Because I practically live within the small confines of my kitchen (I cannot imagine how hungry these boys will be as teenagers!), I've noticed that I sometimes forget what it actually looks like. In my mind, this is how I THINK my kitchen looks:

And this is how it REALLY looks...

I know—you are trying to stifle your jealousy!

These two kitchens are about the same size, and I know I could fill both to the brim with counter-to-counter pizza creation, floor-hogging magnetic letters, and messy kid art projects. So I choose in my mind to ignore the fact that several of the drawers will fall out altogether if you pull them too far, half the cabinets are missing their pulls, and all of them are lined with terrible '70s paper. Instead I stay grateful for new appliances and repeat this mantra in my mind: "Anything is worth free rent." (To see why our rent is free, click here.)

I have become so accustomed to those stained yellow counters and terrible laminate cabinets that the last time we had some new friends (Ryan's co-workers) over for a meal, I actually forgot to excuse the kitchen, like I used to. And I've decided to stop, permanently.

This kitchen—for a design lover like me—may be a sacrifice, but why apologize for one of the areas of our home that I love the most?

I love plopping both boys on the counter, on either side of the Kitchen Aid mixer, and making cookies when we're just plain bored one afternoon. I love my never-ending quest to get Ryan to react with his signature "THIS IS GOOD" when I make something he likes. There's just too much to like about this space to resent the very dated design. :)

Do you apologize for an area of your home?

More snippets of my home will be coming, so check back soon. Thanks for reading—you guys are the best!

Terrible Threes?

2012-02-08T22:20:00.000-08:00

To my Park Day girlfriends, I'm sorry I was out of it today. My ears were still ringing from a certain three-year-old's screaming that morning at home. For a least the fourth time in the last two weeks, I literally felt shellshocked, to the point where my social skills crash and burn because my mind cannot stop stewing over how to get us out of this lovely phase.

I love this spirited little man with all my heart, and I recognize all the progress we have made together. He can be sweeter than apple pie when he wants to be. And until a couple weeks ago, his syrupy sweetness shined through considerably more than his temper. Statements like "I love our beautiful home" and "It makes Heavenly Father so happy when I give things to Chase" spout from his mouth frequently.

But all of a sudden, he is yelling at me over the smallest things ("NO! I DO want you to tell me a story!") and seems to teeter on this cliff from where he cannot return without my help once he has fallen. (Neither Ryan or I are yellers, fyi.)

I'm trying my best to be consistent with calm statements like "I can't hear you when you talk that way. Would you like to start over?" But it takes all my willpower to calmly direct him when I'm still puffy-eyed from rolling out of bed only moments before the onslaught begins!

Early this morning, 5:30am, I heard him saying very insistently from his room, "MOM! Mom! MOM! I'm mad!" I went into his room to check on him and found he was asleep. My child was yelling at me in his sleep!

Honestly, I am not telling you this in search of sympathy. (Believe me, I've given myself enough pity today to go around for a good long while!) But this is not one of those days when I am going to say that the brief but blissful moments make up for all the hard ones. As mothers, we all say that. We have to. Consciously looking for those moments is what makes this baffling journey of motherhood doable—and thankfully, enjoyable. But some days, let's just let it be enough to say, this is hard.

via

And with that, I bid you good night! I am proudly a morning person and know things always look better with a new day! (Thanks for passing that on, Mom!)

Put a Little Conviction Behind that "No"!

2012-02-07T19:45:00.000-08:00

Did you catch the Wall Street Journal's recent article, "Why French Parents Are Superior"? First the Chinese, and now the French! (Naturally, both articles essentially assert that American parents are inferior. Can you imagine a French newspaper running an article entitled "Why American Parents Are Superior"? Or British or Swedish or Guatemalan, for that matter? Where's our pride? :)

While I do not think it is as black and white as one culture is superior and the other is inferior, since reading the article I have felt empowered to retake the reigns in our house. I have always tried to mean it when I say "no" or "last one." But if I'm honest with myself, I probably don't say no quite as often as I should. I BELIEVE that children need boundaries, but when your almost two-year-old scoots a chair into the kitchen, grabs an apple, and dashes to the couch to eat it while watching Curious George—all while you're just trying to do your makeup in peace—isn't it just easier to let him eat the darn apple on the couch? Despite the rule that you have stated one hundred times: Food stays at the table!

I also BELIEVE that children need to learn delayed gratification. It is a lifelong principle, and learning it now will make them more equipped to handle adolescence and young adulthood. But do I make them wait often enough? One of my struggles right now (coincidentally also about food) is getting the boys to wait while I make dinner. Too often I let them snack on pears or pretzels to occupy them while I make dinner. It seems that as soon as I start rattling pans in the kitchen, they are on my heels acting like they will die if not fed RIGHT THAT MOMENT! Aaaand once we're sitting at the dinner table, they interrupt me every two seconds asking for more milk...a different piece of silverware...who knows what!

So, I do think I'm going to give a shot to the supposedly French concept of one snack a day. For us, it'll be at 3:30. Hopefully that will also alleviate their "dire" hunger right at I start cooking dinner. And I'm going to make it clear that once I sit down at the table, I won't get up until I'm ready.

I knew from the get-go that I did not want to be constantly reaching back to hand my kids things while driving. So from day one, the boys have heard me say, "Sorry, I can't help you when I'm driving. I have to concentrate to keep us safe." Because I have really never wavered in this rule, it has been amazingly effective! Sometimes I'll even hear Trenton sympathetically tell his younger brother, "Sorry, Chase, but Mom can't help you while she's driving." (So cute!)

Hopefully my steadfastness with that rule will spill over into our new dinner habits. :) I'll let you know how this "educating" of my children goes (as a French woman would say!).

Hard to believe these cute faces (playing peek-a-boo) could really cause such madness at home, but believe me, they can!

What rules have you set in your family that really work for you? Any areas like mine where you know you should firm up?

Marriage Maintenance

2012-02-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

What is better than a wedding?? After I first got married, I was SAD at the talk of other people's weddings, because I knew I'd never get to plan my own again. Six years later, I am way over that and am honored and delighted at any chance I have to celebrate the union of another couple. A wedding is so full of hope and trust as we watch the bride and groom wholly commit themselves to a tremendous unknown. A wedding is forward looking for that couple, but for most of the married participants, I'm sure it spurs a lot of reflection.

Practically anyone who knows me well has heard me joke openly (and regularly!) about my and Ryan's many differences. In many ways, I consider us opposites. He has little need for sympathy or inclination to give it; I seem to need it in droves! He is strongly independent; I have more self-doubt and prefer to stick close to my loved ones. He likes to make goals for us as a couple or a family; I bristle at having someone suggest a goal for me—even when I know it is spot on! He wants to kayak or hike; I want to shop or dine out.

In fact, I used to ask God why He let me marry someone so different from me.

But during year four of our marriage, right after I had our second baby, I saw a therapist and learned to understand my husband—and myself—better. By our fifth anniversary, I found myself holding hands with him across a table, with a candle-lighted creme brulee between us and my eyes filling with tears at the thought of how far we'd come. I love that man—I always have, even when I didn't understand how he could think so differently than I did. Barely a day passes now without me thanking the Lord for how far we've come and how good it feels to be here.

Hopefully there will be much more marriage maintenance to come on on this little blog! Relationships, after all, are one of my very favorite topics.

Make It Simple (3) - What's in Your Car?

2012-02-06T13:11:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the trunk of our Corolla! A well-stocked car takes a lot of stress out of my life. Because I almost always have what I need in the car, I don't have to think as hard about what goes into my diaper bag or what should be in my hand as I leave the house. And when you have small children underfoot, the less you have to think, the better!

So first up, I keep a canvas storage bin from Target in the trunk, which I try to keep stocked with these items:

Tie downs and jumper cables.
An envelope of family photos that my preschooler can use for his weekly Show & Tell. That way even if we forget to grab something from home, we always have a photo in the car that he can take.
Wipes.
Diapers.
Food! For in the event of an actual emergency (like mechanical problems) or a less-pressing but still distressing emergency (like unhappy, confined children on an unanticipated long drive).
Band-aids for scraped knees at the park. (I should beef up my first aid supplies.)
Clorox wipes. I use a couple each time I vacuum my car, to wipe off surfaces.
A change of pants and underwear, because you just never know when a kid might need them. (I originally put these in when T was potty training.)
A couple of super absorbent microfiber towels, from Target's automotive section. I use these to give my car a cursory dry after I wash it, and I also regularly use them to dry off slides at the park.
(Not pictured) Several water bottles.

Now the rest of the trunk! Obviously, it is packed!

I keep a beach bag complete with sunscreen, a beach blanket, sand toys, a soccer ball, and even some soccer cones. I love that these things still get a surprising amount of use in a California winter! I probably use the contents of that bag at the park more than at the beach, though.

The red bag to the right of the blue beach bag is jumper cables, and right now I'm also keeping my tennis bag in there. The boys and I have fun playing with our four rackets and bunch of balls at a nearby park with tennis courts, and I even sneak in a few minutes of practice hitting a ball against the wall. :)

And lastly, of course, our beloved double stroller! (a Combi Twin Sport)

As if you weren't already sick of hearing about my car, I must tell you that I LOVE cleaning my car. I never used to. But now that it is a daily struggle to stay on top of the house cleaning, I love that I can make the entire car sparkle in less than an hour.

It's quick and satisfying! We manage to do it about monthly! The boys happily climb around and push lots of buttons while I work! Then they sit in the double stroller while I do the actual vacuuming at a local car wash! Then they think it is over-the-moon awesome when I spray them with the water while they sit giggling in the carseats! It is just plain fun. Anybody else agree??

See that face? So happy cleaning the car. Plus, he thought it was hilarious that his sock came off.

So, the big question—what is the state of your car?

(Btw, next Monday is refrigerator organization!)

Be Back Soon!

2012-02-01T14:43:00.000-08:00

I'm off to see my adorable sister-in-law get married this weekend in Las Vegas!

I'm sure most of you know from experience that packing a family of four and trying to leave a clean house to come home to is no small feat, even if the trip is only for a few days!

My sweet hubby sent me this email an hour ago. Notice the list of things to remember—he knows me so well! Try as I might to be on top of all the details, I am a bit of a space case. I've managed to get to the airport without my driver's license at least once, probably more! Crossing my fingers that is not the case today!

Check in next week for car organization and what I THINK my kitchen looks like vs. what it really looks like. :)

Goodbye January, Hello February!

2012-01-31T20:45:00.000-08:00

A lot of things took a backseat last month, by my own decision. I think I always tend to drag my feet in January. I'm initially enthusiastic about my ideas on how to improve myself in the upcoming year, but then the grayness of winter and the realization of how much WORK I am in for in the new year sets in. (Who really likes January, anyway? Do you?) So I gave myself permission to take a step back and then kick it into gear when I finally became ready.

First off, HELLO free pass on the house cleaning! I still managed to keep it fairly presentable, because I am completely unhappy when the house is in shambles, but I stressed less about clean bathrooms (oh wait, I rarely stress about clean bathrooms!), organized toys, sparkling counters, unloaded dishes, etc.

Meal planning suffered, which in a way was nice, but after a month of it, I am so ready to get back aboard! I am not very good at winging it when it comes to feeding a family.

Exercise and minimizing sweets. WHAT? Christmas severely knocked me off track, and I decided not to force it but to just wait until my brain and body started telling me to reassert healthy habits. I think I am alllmost there. For me, fitness and motherhood go hand in hand. I am a much better mother, wife, and homemaker when I am working out! It allows me to feel in control of myself, which spills over into every other area of my life.

So, here's what I'm hoping February will look like:

More work-out sessions at home with the boys. (I think I'll resume my gym membership in March.)
A return to my morning routine of getting myself ready for the day, making my bed, and unloading the dishwasher FIRST THING! Before the boys get too needy.
Minimize sweets. Only bake a treat once a week.
Meal plan Sunday nights.
Quality family time!

Welcome, February!

Make It Simple (2.1)

2012-01-30T19:47:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Ashley reminded me of some details about the boys clothing that I intended to talk about anyway, so I'm adding this as an addendum to Make It Simple (2). :)

I try so hard to keep the boys clothes to a minimum! Hand-me-downs from my sister and gifts from grandparents enable me to spend fairly little on the boys' wardrobes, and I am grateful for that. The more clothes they have, the more we go through on a weekly basis, so I try to have just a few pairs of pants and just over a week's worth of shirts, per size. Short sleeves in the summer, long sleeves in the winter, a couple of jackets, and we're good to go! The boys also share socks, and I am committed to only buying them basic white socks that require no sorting!

I try to get a couple of wears out of tops before they are washed; however kids will be kids, and that probably only happens half the time. I do usually manage to pull this off with their bottoms. (Do you think this is weird?) Obviously, I am all about doing less laundry! I wash their clothes once a week.

Feel free to share what the laundry situation is like with your kids—I'd be very interested!

Make It Simple (2)

2012-01-29T20:21:00.000-08:00

Is it strange to post your family's closets online? Possibly, but I know I would be curious to see into my friends' closets, so why not share mine? Let's start with Trenton and Chase.

Naturally, this is a bit more more tidy than normal, so forgive me for not being entirely forthcoming. But what I love about my system is MINIMAL FOLDING! As it is, I barely manage to get clean laundry put away while the boys jump all around me, so simplicity is a must. And besides, I'd rather spend my spare minutes doing things I actually enjoy.

The above photo is pretty self-explanatory. Trenton and Chase each have a vertical column. I bought these at Ikea, and I love being able to see everything at once when I'm choosing their outfits for the day. Jackets and shoes are at their level so that they can grab them and return them on their own. Diapers and wipes are also easily accessible.

Toward the top right are shoes that Trenton has outgrown that I'm waiting for Chase to grow into shortly. On the far right is a column of blankets and baby hygiene items (lotion, nail clippers, diaper rash cream).

And that's it!

Next Monday—car organization! And why I love cleaning my car sooo very much.

Disclaimer: I am making myself sound so on top of it; I promise I'm NOT like this about everything! Just ask my husband, family, or friends! But where possible, I am all about efficiency, and I am happy to share the few things I do have going to for us in this household. :) Thanks for reading!

Made My Day

2012-01-27T19:39:00.000-08:00

The other day I posted the following on my family blog:

In no time at all, the comments came in:

I love so many things about this. I love that my sisters (and a cousin, although my screen capture didn't fit her—thanks, Jeni!) immediately chimed in with how they've experienced my dad's talent with kids. I love that my dad took the time to comment in his cute way—and said, "Love you all." I love that my mom says opposites attract, when really, she is amazing with kids! (She taught kindergarten for how many years??)

And mostly, I love that my family blogs. :) Or at least reads mine. haha

But seriously, a supportive, involved family—even when we live hundreds of miles apart—is a tremendous blessing.

Those comments made my day.

Do What You Love—When the Time Is Right

2012-01-26T13:46:00.000-08:00

1 2 3 4

Ever seen an art print like one of these?

If you, like me, follow the online design community, I guarantee you've seen them around.

I used to love the message, and really I still do, but the realist in me has to accept that not everyone can do what they love. If we all did, this world would be full of broke artists! And Comcast customer service from actual people would cease to exist! (I imagine that would be the worst job ever.)

Right now, for instance, my husband and I manage a complex of 53 condos. I do not relish my job—far from it. But I tolerate it, occasionally enjoy aspects of it, and am always grateful for it. San Francisco is the fourth most expensive city in the US (ranking ahead of Honolulu, Boston and D.C.). So a job I do not relish allows us to save money and allows me to stay home and squeeze these cheeks all day long:

And I cannot resent that.

Someday, when I'm actually doing what I love full-time (in addition to being a mom, of course!), maybe I'll want to display one of the above beauties, but until then, I am going to remember that there is a season for everything, and a little sacrifice now will be worth it later.

Are you doing what you love?

Make It Simple (1)

2012-01-23T13:24:00.001-08:00

This tiny contraption is making a world of difference at our house. Not once last week did I say "Chase, the fridge is not a toy!" He loved to hang out in there, rearranging bottles, scavenging for food, or making a break for it with a bottle of jam.

Baby proofing equals sanity. I don't go all-out crazy, but I do enough that I can feel at ease in our home, from a safety perspective. Plus, the more drawers and bookshelves little hands can access, the more messes they make! And heaven knows they make enough messes as is!

This refrigerator guard is working out well for us. In the above picture, it isn't latched. To latch it, I just have to push the fridge door in a bit more. But I like having the option of not latching it, like when I'm going to open the fridge several times consecutively or the kids are not around. Surprisingly, my boys did not get all up in arms when they woke up one morning and found it installed. Trenton just told me it was "cool," and Chase yanked on the fridge a few times before giving up. That was that.

If you know me well, you know I love the one baby gate I own. Trenton is old enough to open on his own now, but I don't mind because he is also old enough to reason with. He actually likes the gate, because it keeps Chase from wandering away while they're playing together.

Several nights a week, after dinner I give the boys the choice of getting in pajamas and watching a kids' show or playing in their room until they're ready for pajamas. Ever desperate to avoid jammies, Trenton usually happily opts to go in their room and play with the baby gate closed. I tidy up the house (or escape onto pinterest for a few minutes, haha) until he finally gets bored of playing and tells me he's ready for jammies. (Getting pajamas on is much less of a fight when he thinks it is his idea!) Being boys, them playing in their room usually involves a lot of jumping off the bed, cheerfully whooping, occasional complaints or cries from Chase, and random "projects" like throwing every toy we own into the crib (after which T tells me, "We were working hard!" And I tell him now he's going to work hard helping me clean it all up.).

Regardless of their play tactics, I LOVE my baby gate because it gives me this time.

And the fact that it's white and relatively classy looking, as far as baby gates go, is happy bonus. Plus, it's easy to open, the door can swing both ways, and the gate stays open once pushed all the way.

How far do you go with baby proofing?

Next Monday I'll share my boys' closet organization and how I keep it simple and save time on laundry!

Role Reversal

2012-01-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

I think I mentioned that last Sunday Ryan stayed home with our cold-ridden baby while Trenton and I went to church. Every Sunday I teach Christ-centered songs to the kids, ages 3 to 12. I love doing it, but it's basically feels like a 45-minute performance every week. When I came home, Ryan had straightened the entire house and even had spaghetti on the stove.

But I remember that only moments after walking in the door, Ryan prompted Trenton to put something away and scooped up my heels to go in the closet. I felt just a tinge of "Hey! We just got home. No nagging already!" And it dawned on me that he must feel that way all the time after getting home from work.

How many times has he walked into our home, which I plot and scheme to make feel like a haven, only to hear me say, "Will you put your bag in the closet?" or, "Keys and wallets don't go on the piano!" Even if I do sing it out in what feels like a nonthreatening voice, it cannot be fun to hear that first thing after a long day at work.

That brief role reversal did me some good, and I've tried to appreciate my companion and father of my children a little bit more this week...

Maybe you can do the same!

And stay tuned Monday for the first in my series of four posts about random things I do to make life simpler!

What I Wore Wednesday - Geared for Moms

2012-01-17T19:21:00.000-08:00

I'm going way out on a limb here, but that is what this blog is for! I'm linking up with The Pleated Poppy and many other bloggers to show a couple of my outfits from last week. At this stage in my life, I've learned that I do not have time to think when getting dressed for the day. Usually I have little people at my legs clamoring for my attention...or accidentally knocking over a lamp or wandering off with my tube of mascara... It goes with the territory to say that my life right now is very active and, for lack of a better word, messy. I mean literally messy, not emotionally messy. (Unless I'm pregnant; then I am just messy all around! haha) This necessitates straightforward, easy-to-wash outfits.

A Lucy, long-sleeved tee with jeggings and simple black flats from Banana Republic several years ago (when I worked there briefly and enjoyed a lovely discount!). I love Lucy's tees because they are made of a thick, ribbed cotton that keeps its shape for multiple wears and comes out of the washer looking like new every single time. Earrings from Loft. See? Minimal thinking here!

Dressed for a chilly 37-degree morning. The same jeggings with my Steve Madden boots from Nordstrom Rack last winter and my new black, Kenneth Cole jacket, also from Nordstrom Rack (via a Christmas gift card—thank you, Sally!). I'm super excited about the jacket because it is fleece-lined and very warm! No eye makeup in this picture because I'm recovering from a cold. Just be glad I didn't look the camera in the eye—you might have been scared!

At least two or three days a week I wear athletic clothes because I like to exercise and I think workout getup is comfortable. But I do always feel happiest (and seem to be most productive) when I'm presentable. How about you? If you're a mom, did style go out the window when the babies came, or are you still rockin it?

Worth the Hard

2012-01-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that this content little face, captured yesterday, could cause so much drama today...

(Gotta love those grubby hands reaching for those poor, unsuspecting pretzel fish!)

Yesterday, we took the boys to the beach for the afternoon. It was a glorious January day, and although it's never WARM at the beach here in northern California, it was pretty close to perfect by our standards. Considering how long it's been since we made it out to the beach (it is January, after all), I was surprised that when Chase heard Ryan and I mention visiting the beach that afternoon, he latched on and spent the next hour running around the house saying, "Beach! Beach! Beach!" until we finally headed for the coast.

Once there, he was in paradise, having made it his mission to fill up his pail one handful of sand at a time.

The problem, however, started when he woke up in his crib this morning and immediately began asking us, "Beach? Beach?" Our consistent reply of "No, we're going to church" did NOT fly. He would throw himself on the ground and continue demanding "Beach! Beach! BEACH!" His mood continued to deteriorate until we finally decided to see if he'd take a nap at 9:30am. (It has been at least six months since he had an official morning nap.) Trenton and I went late to church while Ryan stayed home with the sleeping monster.

Unfortunately, Chase's two-hour morning nap did not lend itself well to the rest of our afternoon. Both boys were ornery—and honestly, so were their parents! With each hour that ticked slowly by, I felt myself mentally pushing back the arrival of an eventual third baby to this house!

One thing that did help, though, was an analogy that kept popping into my head. I read it recently in this great blog post. She writes: "I think parenting young children (and old ones, I’ve heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they’ve heard there’s magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it’s hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up."

There ARE moments that are worth the hard. Today may not have been filled with them, but they'll come again. Hopefully as soon as tomorrow.

Background on LWL

2012-01-09T21:47:00.001-08:00

Only days after I registered Let Why Lead—when it was barely more than an idea floating in my head—I was listening to President Uchdorf speak to the women of my church when I heard him refer to the whys of our lives. It felt as if he had personally tapped me on the shoulder before continuing. His talk touched me, and I felt impressed that (regardless of any blog) continually remembering and reevaluating the whys of my life would help me become the woman I want to be.

In what feels like a past life (even though it was less than five years ago... Having kids will do that to you!), I helped people write their life histories. I interviewed an elderly woman from Tennessee for ten cumulative hours, and at the end, all I felt was sad for her. Her candor about past affairs and estranged children cemented my desire to live a life of meaning.

Today I changed three stinky diapers and wiped a baby's goopy eyes all day long. I called a boiler repair company and checked the strength of door closers around my building, as part of my job. Riveting, I know. But I also helped that baby (whom I should really stop calling a "baby," now that he's approaching two years) say the prayer over dinner:

"Hev-fadder" (Heavenly Father)

"Dane-koo" (thank you)—

"Da-ee" (for Daddy)

"Hen's bike" (and Trenton's bike)

"Nen!" (Amen!) with his arms extended wide and a big smile on his face.

It may not always feel like a life of meaning, but sometimes I just have to remind myself that it is.

And just for fun, I've uploaded the printable I made and pinned on my inspiration board back in the fall. I uploaded the full file, so it should print nicely on a full sheet of heavy paper if you'd like one too. :)

Expecting Less (Even When You're on Pinterest)

2012-01-08T11:49:00.000-08:00

Does pinterest ever just make you laugh?

I find having a virtual bulletin board extremely useful, and heaven knows I've happily fallen into the pinterest black whole many times. Before I head to bed my husband often hears me say, "I just need to see a few beautiful things," as I hop onto pinterest. I love it. But like I said, some things just make me laugh. Like this:

While I agree with the overall sentiment, the aspiration of "expecting less" found on pinterest—of all places—strikes me as ironic. How easy is it to see the perfect copper pendant light hanging over thick carerra marble and expect less out of your life? Or how about that airy home office with a farmhouse table as a desk and an organization system that would turn even me into Mrs. Cleaver?

Though I am passionate about surrounding myself with beauty and good design, what I really want is a home that tells people what I believe in and who I love, not how much money we make. I have to remind myself of that often when I read blogs and browse pin boards. A tip? Don't be a stranger to the Unfollow button. If you don't want your pinterest homepage to be filled with extravagant diamonds you would never choose to spend your money on, unfollow that girl's "JOOLS" board. :) And maybe jot down your priorities and stick them onto your computer or your inspiration board, just for a little dose of reality when you deliberately lose yourself in that oh-so-familiar black whole.

In case you want to follow me on pinterest (and mock me when I pin extravagant things!), here ya go!

Do You Journal?

2012-01-05T20:10:00.000-08:00

Because I mentioned my journals (and because it probably won't be the last time!), I thought I'd show you my little collection...

I always select blank pages, because I love the freedom of scrawling my thoughts without lines to guide them, and each new journal suits my mood at the time I choose it. One of the blue ones shows drop of water creating ripples; another is covered in clouds. The pink flowery one is from the year I met and fell in love with my husband. You better believe that is my favorite journal of all time. Pages in other journals tell about the pre-baby blues I experienced during each pregnancy or how hard I've worked at marriage. I write more about what I feel than what I experience; it's how I process my world.

Are you a journaler? If not, how do you process your world?

One more:

2012-01-05T16:59:00.000-08:00

Grow up and stop caring so much about your birthday!

Blog Book

2012-01-04T20:04:00.000-08:00

I'm getting ready to push "publish" on this little beauty. It is the second volume of our family blog book, and it covers the birth and growth of both my little boys. I can't wait to hold it in my hands!

I designed the cover in InDesign and did the pages through Blurb. I'll let you know how it turns out!

2012 Resolutions

2012-01-04T19:27:00.000-08:00

In spite of my qualms about setting specific goals this new year, I cannot get resolutions off my mind. I think it's the possibility—the glimmer of hope however unrealistic it may be—that this could be the year that I figure it all out. Of course, I won't figure it all out, but I do hope that by the end of this year, I'll be considerably closer to being the woman I am trying to become.

At the beginning of most years, I start a new journal. Those blank pages are my fresh slate, which by the end of the year will thoroughly document any progress (or lack thereof!) that I manage to make. Today, while a babysitter watched my little rugrats for a couple of hours, I sat on a blanket at a park and brainstormed resolutions in my journal, whittling it down to a final few. Want to see which ones made the cut? (Can you handle the drama??) In the exact words I penned in my journal earlier today...

Deepen my interactions with the Spirit.

Pray. Read. Be grateful.

This is the foremost thing I can do to improve my life.

Launch Let Why Lead and design a blog book for someone else.

Keep editing and combining our family video clips

Watch the money like a hawk.

This is the goal I kinda hate. Which I suppose is why it has to be a goal in the first place.

Enjoy the boys; create memories

Manageable, right? I hope so! If I'm really good, I'll report on them as the year goes on. :) Want to do the same? Feel free to link up your resolutions in the comments. I'd love to see what you're hoping for this year.

Thrive or Survive

2011-12-27T13:51:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I think that I have to work harder than most of my fellow stay-at-home moms to enjoy my job. (Or maybe we're all in the same boat??) The pages of my journals tell that story all too well: I document my efforts to cherish my children while they're small; I wax poetic about the up sides of staying home; I admit that maybe life as a stay-at-home mom doesn't come as naturally to me as I had always assumed it would.

I DO love and cherish my children. I find myself overflowing with love—particularly when they're asleep. :) But I think we can all agree that staying home with small children can kick you in the pants. It can be isolating if you don't actively fight to get out and socialize. I often fondly remember the days when I was "college smart." Now, despite numerous hand washings, I feel like the smell of my baby's stinky diapers clings to my hands. (I think—I hope—that it is in my head!)

As the new year approaches, I am vacillating between accepting that "surviving with a little grace" is an adequate goal or reaching higher for one like "learning to thrive while staying home." I suppose my goal always has been to learn to thrive (which, incidentally, is a big part of why I keep this blog), but I also realize some weeks, merely making it is okay too.

Thanks for being part of my journey! Are you thriving or surviving?

Walls of Reminders

2011-12-06T13:12:00.000-08:00

I am passionate about filling my home with things that remind our family of our values and priorities. Seeing inspiring words and art day after day helps me become the woman I so want to be. I don't know about you, but I am very easily sidetracked by shiny things...a new pair of wedges, an iron advent calendar from Pottery Barn (which I still might just buy!), new OPI nailpolish... Keeping myself grounded in a world of blogs and pinterest can be a challenge(!), but I do have complete control over the things on my walls—which I see a hundred times a day.

And even though they're very young, I hope what is on our walls will have the same impact on my children as they grow.

I'm slowly starting to collect items for a revamped gallery wall in my entry/dining area. Just for fun, I'm posting my current etsy favorites. If I actually take the plunge and purchase any of these, I'll let you know!

A little San Francisco love... via

I'm a sucker for any quotes about changing the world! via

I'm smitten with this girl's art. It is a fantastic marriage of words, images, playfulness, and meaning. via (And all her prints are 25% off for the holidays.)

This quote is me to a T, as evidenced by the fact that my three-year-old boy is constantly pointing out "beautiful things" to me. ("Isn't my red scooter bootiful, Mom?")

Post-Vacation Blues

2011-11-28T19:59:00.001-08:00

I'm always a little sad after my family leaves town... Or after I leave my family's town... My sisters and I have an official term for it: the post-vacation blues. After a few days of nonstop companionship (during which time I never heard a bored squawk escape my 21-month-old's mouth), Ryan and I look at each other in minor shock when it feels as though the boys have conspired to gang up on us and there is no longer anyone here to distract them. Now I'll spend the next few days reminding myself of all that I love about my life in order to dispel those pesky post-vacation blues! I suppose that's what Thanksgiving is all about anyway—seeing the good in our lives.

My sweet three-year-old had the best time with his grandparents, constantly saying things like, "I'm so excited my grandparents are here!" Seems like all the excitement finally caught up with him, when he fell asleep in my arms Saturday afternoon...

Stomp Rockets & How Far We've Come

2011-09-30T21:04:00.000-07:00

This is how our little Chaser felt about a simple family outing to a baseball field to launch stomp rockets:

Watching your child's eyes light up is one of the finest joys in life; agreed? I actually took that photo because I loved Chase's hand on his daddy's leg. Those bright eyes were just a bonus.

As I sat on the grass watching two little blond heads toddle after their father, searching the outfield for a lost rocket, I had this moment when I suddenly remembered the pre-marriage Ryan & Erica and reeled at how we could possibly be here now. That guy who used to hold my elbow possessively in public—even before we started officially dating—has become the guy who plays tigers on the floor with my boys and leaves his wallet and keys (and shoes and gum) all over our house. Maybe this little vision was brought on by the fact that he was wearing a shirt from our dating days (Racer's Bike Shop in our college town). Whatever the reason, I'm grateful for the reminder of how far we've come.

Have you had a moment like that lately?